Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

What am I supposed to do with this?

Posted: April 22, 2015 in Humor, other

Day 14…Page 29. The very first thing my eyes focused on…

Dear Uncle Jack,

You amuse me. Your letter was a riddle and a mystery. How would you happen to know the nearest book to me at the moment I opened your letter. How could you have known the very first thing I saw was Beam Splitter? What in the world do you want me to discern from this item?

Why do I want to split beams? What exactly is a beam splitter anyway? What am I supposed to do with it, and what is the significance of this in my work? I am a writer, as you well know? What am I to do with something that splits a beam of light…Or is that the message.

Writing is like shining a bright light on something you want others to see as you see it…So what you are saying to me is that sometimes you need to shine the light on more than one thing in an article.

So, if I am telling a story about a dog, and his love of fun, I perhaps have to shine the light on the work that dog does.

Or if writing about frogs…perhaps the lily pad he landed on? Or the Bluejay that comes to my deck for his peanuts every day, and GreyCat who sits in wait!

Thanks Uncle Jack….You have always made me stretch my thinking and once again you have done that!

I will work hard at beam splitting in the future, so keep on reading my “stuff” and you will recognize your wise advice.

Love,
ME

PS…I still don’t know how you could possibly know that the only book near me at the moment I read your letter, was a copy of Modern Essentials A contemporary guide to the Therapeutic Use of Essential Oils….and page 29 would show a beam splitter…Think about it…these two just do not go together. You are so “quirky”…and I just love that about you!

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Found this on Facebook…Had to share…

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,
he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug),
which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off by (more…)

Mom’s are wonderful…It is Mother’s Day soon. Everyone who has a Mother should honor her. Not just on Mother’s Day but every day.

How do Mother’s teach you things? What did I teach my own kids? Where did I do good, and where did I do wrong? What else should I have taught them? Have I now gotten so old that I no longer teach them anything? Or are the tables now turned and they are teaching me? Do I teach them by example or do I just say it and expect them to do it the way I say, even if it is not how I am?

I taught my children not to “puke” anywhere near me! (more…)

A few thoughts for the day!

Posted: March 19, 2012 in Humor, Interesting

I am not sure why I have decided to write today….I guess the news, and the leftover flood debris, the inability to have a magic wand to make the mess leave or Calgon to just take me away! (I don’t have a bathtub either….well, I do have one, but it is in the garage and not hooked up to water) Whatever the case, I have things to say, and you are welcome to listen. If however you have better things to do than read my musings, then go do it! I am not sure you will gain anything by what I have to say…but I am going to say it! (more…)

Creation

Posted: March 10, 2012 in Humor
Tags: ,

Creation

An atheist scientist came to God and said, “We’ve figured out how to make a man without you.”

God said, “OK, let me see you do it.

So the atheist bent down to the ground and scooped up a handful. But God stopped him and said, “Oh, no you don’t. Get your own dirt!”

The final word

Posted: March 9, 2012 in Humor

Pause Stranger

Pause Stranger

I am told that an Indiana cemetery has a tombstone over one hundred years old that bears the following epitaph:  “Pause Stranger, when you pass me by.  As you are now, so once was I.  As I am now, so you will be.  So prepare for death and follow me.”  An unknown passerby read those words and underneath scratched this reply:  “

To follow you I’m not content, Until I know which way you went.”  (J.M. Kennedy)

Solomon

Posted: March 10, 2011 in Humor
Tags:
Porcupine

Porcupine

One of David’s sons was called Solomon. He had, like, 300 wives and 500 porcupines. They told us in Sunday School that he was a really wise man, but that doesn’t sound too wise to me.