Three Quick words that teach your child they don’t have to do what you say!

Posted: January 19, 2016 in This and That
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Most Moms and Dads don’t set out to damage their kids, but most do.

Every time I go to Walmart or the Mall or the grocery I see frustrated parents trying desperately to get their children, whether toddlers or school age to listen to them and behave in a way that is respectful, or well-mannered or perhaps we could say “civilized!”

The behavior is such that children pull stuff off the shelves to put in the cart, or throw themselves on the floor in a tantrum or what is referred to in the south as a “hissy-fit!”  Parents are left with little or no control.  They have been ham-strung by our modern civilized parenting methods.  Gone are the days when you can even consider a swat on the butt.  Should a parent do that, some really well-meaning citizen (AKA busy-body) will pick up the phone and call the police or social services to come and take away your child, and check for abuse in the family.

What a “crock!”  The system is causing parents to be afraid to be parents.  Even the Bible says that sparing the rod will spoil the child.  Now seriously, sparing the rod, does not mean it is OK to beat a child, but a swat on the butt could get their attention.   According to research, the rod was the Shepherds hook and it wasn’t used to hit a child, but the hook part was used to bring a child back where the parent could train them in the way they should go.

1 – 2 – 3  or 3 -2- 1….That is the countdown that occurs before a child ends up in time out or punished.

This is the absolute worst thing any Mother or Father can teach their child.  It is telling the child that there is time before they have to take the instruction seriously.  Correction does not occur immediately, and they get three chances before Mom or Dad will make them do what you have told them.  You are the parent.  You know best.  You have only their best interest at heart.  They need to obey you and you need to see that they do.

Children really must be taught to obey immediately.  When you say “move”….they need to move now.  The one two three process could cost their life.  What would happen if they had run into the middle of the street and you were watching a car or truck approaching them….  One two three….  NO….The correct word is “come here.”  They move immediately out of the street and back into the safety you provide.

You can see all the ramifications of the 123 process.  How bad is the burn from touching a stove top, or an iron, or anything hot.  How dangerous is the dog that is snarling at them?  What about the guy who  needs their help to find a lost dog?  What about the guy in the van that wants to give them some candy or show them his puppy…..Some of these are the minor things that all kids will eventually learn.  One or two burns and they will see the need to not touch hot things, etc.  Others can change their lives for the worse and yours too.  Horrible things that none of us want to even think about.

The major problem in teaching them they have the 1, 2, 3….times to correct their behavior comes when they start into adulthood.  Teenagers can stretch the time of their curfew, they can drive a little faster than the speed limit, they can steal from a store….OH  Whoops….It doesn’t work!  The first time caught and the police are called.  But still the court system plays on this as well.  No serious consequences.  It was their “first” offence. There brains remember the 1, 2, 3 chances.  It is all OK.

Fast Forward to the day they turn 18.  They still have the mentality of the first, second, and third chance.  What happens if they experiment with drugs.  Despite all we as parents say and do, sometimes our kids decide to do it their way, knowing they are going against the lessons and instructions we have given.  What happens when the “now adult” steals a car, robs a store, or does something else illegal.  If you think it can’t happen to your child, you are wrong.  It can happen to anyone’s child.

The adult court system does not care that your child’s birthday was yesterday.  The magic age is 18.  That one day changes their entire life, but they aren’t fully aware of it.  It is just one day.  How in the world could the rules change so completely in one day?  It does.  No getting around it.

The point of this article is to encourage parents to raise their kids to know, there are not 3 chances before consequences touch them.  It could happen immediately.  Please teach your kids that lesson.

It won’t take long for them to learn this.  It didn’t take them long to learn that you were going to get up and correct them when you got to three, or when you had gone from 3 to 1.  Kids are very smart.  The hardest part of teaching them to obey immediately, is that we have to get up and move immediately.  We would much prefer to do the countdown….because, just possibly, they will listen and obey by the third count.   The time to start is when they are young…and you are too, in lieu of that….Today is the best day to start!

There are so many things that I “wish” I had known when I was raising little ones….my only hope in publishing this, is that perhaps it will help someone, and perhaps save the life of or protect from harm someone else’s beautiful child!

Your comments are always welcome.  Discussion is always good.  We can all learn from one another, and hopefully help our kids to grow up to be the people we want them to be!

 

Blessings to you all,

Prayyior

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Comments
  1. mjchatters says:

    I have always said that. I mean why not just count to 100? No…no time limit allowed it’s now or we are leaving. We are leaving the basket, the toy, and dare I say it…we are even leaving all our dignity if we must. I tell my daughter plain and simple, you are gonna do what I say the easy way or the hard way. You will either accept my answer like a lady or I’m gonna carry you out of this store kicking and screaming. If I have to take you home because of bad behavior you will be punished for it, and you are STILL not getting the toy. Your decision.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mjchatters says:

    I already raised two. One is 18 and one is 21. I was 39 when I had my youngest. If I don’t know what to do by now…lol. Learned it the hard way.

    Liked by 1 person

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